It's Not Going to Lick Itself T-Shirt
| Chest (flat) | Length |
|---|---|
| — | — |
Size chart
All measurements are in inches. Chest is measured across the front with the garment laid flat — double it for the around-the-chest number. Compare against a tee that fits you well.
| Size | Chest (flat) | Length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18" | 28" |
| M | 20" | 29" |
| L | 22" | 30" |
| XL | 24" | 31" |
| 2XL | 26" | 32" |
| 3XL | 28" | 33" |
| 4XL | 30" | 34" |
| 5XL | 32" | 35" |
| 6XL | 34" | 36" |
Candy cane in hand, innuendo fully loaded. It's Not Going to Lick Itself is the kind of dirty Christmas t-shirt that clears a room and starts a group chat, and it thrives at adults-only holiday parties, ugly sweater nights, bachelor and bachelorette weekends and December bar crawls. Give it as a gag gift to the friend with the filthiest sense of humor and watch it become their December uniform. Unisex funny Christmas tee for men and women, soft and comfortable, printed in North America. Family dinner discretion strongly advised.
- 100% ring-spun cotton at roughly 4.3 oz/yd² (heather colours blend in polyester for the marled finish).
- Classic unisex cut with a relaxed body, set-in sleeves, and side-seamed construction so the shirt keeps its shape wash after wash.
- Pre-shrunk & side-seamed for shape retention
- Direct-to-garment (DTG) printed with water-based inks
- Made in Canada & USA — printed on demand, ships in 1 business day
- Machine wash cold inside-out, tumble dry low, do not iron print
- Runs true to size. Size up for a relaxed fit.
Ships in 1 business day — printed on-demand from our Canada + USA facilities.
- Standard shipping starts at $5.95
- Delivery typically 1–4 business days after dispatch
- 30-day return policy — see our returns policy
Our unisex tee runs true to size. If you're between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.
| Size | Chest (in) | Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |
| 4XL | 30 | 34 |
| 5XL | 32 | 35 |
| 6XL | 34 | 36 |